Just a Glimpse

Today. I felt it. Tonight. I feel it. I'm on the brink. I got this small glimpse into what I could potentially experience every day.

Contentment. It washed over me as I sipped my coffee while reading my Bible. I felt it rush through my heart as I met up with a childhood friend, chatted over coffee, took a walk in this incredible weather. And again as I tried new food at a middle eastern restuarant. Again as I worshipped with some brothers in Christ. And AGAIN as I bonded with some sweet little boys. 
                                  
Everywhere. God poured out contentment over my heart little by little all day long. It built and built and built. 

Oh sweet, blissful contentment. 

Jesus, you bring contentment.  You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same. You see the areas where I hide my ugly feelings of discontentment. You shine light in the darkness. You show me a glimpse of what it's like to be content in you. 

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

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{This series is a part of a writing challenge given by the nester, Myquillyn Smith, to write for 31 Days. You can check the write31days website out here and enjoy hundreds of other bloggers joining together for this challenge. My posts are a part of my personal topic choice of 31 Days of Contentment, and you can find the link for the entire series here.}

This is the Start

Of something new. {extra brownie points if you sang that line from high school musical song because I did}

The good things in life are never easy. Which means the great things are going to take every fiber of your being to fight for it. 

I'm ready for the fight. I'm putting on my armor.

Finally be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but 
against the rulers, 
against the powers of this dark world and 
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 
THEREFORE 
put on the full armor of God, 
so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, 
and after you have done everything, to stand. 
Stand firm then, with the BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist, 
with the BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS in place, 
and with your feet fitted with the READINESS that comes from the GOSPEL OF PEACE. 
In addition to all this, take up the SHIELD OF FAITH, 
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the HELMET OF SALVATION and 
the SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the word of God. 
{NIV, Emphasis mine}

I'm equipping for the battle against discontentment. Just as Ephesians 6 says, I'm taking my sword and changing the game. Notice how our only offensive weapon is the sword, the Holy Word of God. Some might say it's our only leg to stand on. So if it is our only leg to stand on. If it is our only weapon to fight the enemy. If it is all we need to defend our hearts. If it is as powerful as God implies in this passage, then why don't we spend more time reading it, studying it, memorizing it, talking about it, and sharing it?

I have to go to the source. That is none other the Scripture. If I am serious about finding contentment, I have to fill my life with God's Holy Word.


How can I ever expect to find contentment in the Lord when I am allowing myself to be bombarded with so many different external sources other than Scripture? If I'm gonna displace the discontentment in my heart, mind, soul, and life, I have to replace it with the source of contentment. Jesus. I'm digging into the word. Instead of filling myself with TV, social media, Internet, etc, I'm taking to the Holy Word of God.

Course of action: Dig deep into the Word. Set aside time each and every day to spend just reading/memorizing/studying it. Let it be the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night.
 
The battle for contentment in God for my heart is on, & I'm not backing down.

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{This series is a part of a writing challenge given by the nester, Myquillyn Smith, to write for 31 Days. You can check the write31days website out here and enjoy hundreds of other bloggers joining together for this challenge. My posts are a part of my personal topic choice of 31 Days of Contentment, and you can find the link for the entire series here.}

My Job

UNDER CONSTRUCTION ... MORE TO COME. 

By degree, I am a Speech/Language Pathologist, but on a daily basis, I'm just the {speech teacher}. After going to school for as long as I did, it kind of hurts, to be called a teacher, but I am learning to move past that & get over it.

My field of work is one of the most rewarding professions in this world. I love what I do. Strangely the most common question I get about my job is: What exactly do you do?

Well, contrary to what everyone assumes, I do more than fix a lisp here & there. I work with students ranging from 4 years old to 5th grade. Articulation {which is basically just a fancy word for speech sounds} is primarily what I work on in the schools. Depending on their age & severity, I may teach kids how to produce an R, S, SH, T, D, K, G, J, & the list goes on. It can get quite complicated with errors in the initial positions like R in rock or medial positions like R in forest and final positions like R in tiger.

Not only do I work on articulation, but I also work on language skills with kids. For one reason or another, there are some children who having language delays. Whether that is an expressive language delay {expressive=ability to express their thoughts, needs, ideas, wants, etc} or a receptive language delay {receptive=how they process the language their brain is receiving like following directions, etc}.


My Life

UNDER CONSTRUCTION ... MORE TO COME.

What a complex topic this. I don't think I know much about who I am but one thing is for sure. I know whose I am. I am a God-fearing, people-loving, family-protecting, risk-taking twenty something who enjoys crafting, singing, & running.

I find myself to be quite the anomaly. I haven't lived a normal day in my entire life. I'm the daughter of two amazing, Godly parents who raised me to love Jesus more than anything. I'm the little sister to an older brother and sister. They have always kept me in line. I had to learn from somebody's mistakes. They gave me both a sister-in-law & brother-in-law. But really the day I became an aunt changed everything. My nephews bring more joy & delight into our family than anyone ever knew possible.

I'm single; however, this does not define me. It is just a reality of the path God has me on. I am so enjoying living life as a single, because I have been able to follow God with reckless abandon thanks to my singleness. Yep, that's right. I'm thankful for my singleness.

I'm independent to a fault. Not exactly my most admirable quality. It can be quite frustrating to people at times. It also gets me in trouble on occasion. I want to do it my way, & I want to do by myself. I love a challenge and relish the opportunity to prove people wrong. Tell me I can't do something, & I will consequently do everything in my power to do exactly that.

I'm a hot mess in the majority of areas in my life. I pretend to be in control of everything when in reality, I am in control of nothing.  Currently, my weight is most out of control in my life. I refuse to deal with some underlying issues; therefore, I continue to struggle up & down with my weight.

I'm ashamed to say I  have some very unexpected & intense blonde moments. I am not proud of these, & my family enjoys teasing me about them.

I'm a total introvert with some extroverted qualities. Visiting churches in a new city has reminded me just how introverted I truly am. Most people don't believe that I am an introvert, but I have the Hearin Leadership program {from my college days} to thank for that & of course God who is the one who placed that in my life to help me grow out of my super introverted ways. I am happy to say that I am no longer an extreme introvert, but those tendencies still crop up every now & then.

I'm in love with the Most High God. He has carried me through two & a half decades of life. I've been in a personal relationship with Him for just at two decades this year. I praise God for all He has done in those two decades. & Praise Him that He is not done working on me.

#1 Contentment Killer

Hello, facebook, how are you? Let me tell you a little secret. You kill contentment. You allow people {including me} to give this illusion of perfect lives with perfect friends, prefect families, perfect jobs, and perfect homes. You give us never-ending lists & lists {also known as my newsfeed} of people hitting every expected & celebrated milestone as well as a play by play of their adventurous, spontaneous lives. We will never miss a single meal, outing, adventure, date, breakup, haircut, sports game, wedding, marriage, pregnancy, showers, births, birthdays, etc. Must I go on? You give us the perfect breeding ground for comparison which leads straight to discontentment.

So maybe I wasn't as ready for this challenge as I had thought. I think I had rose colored glasses on. I am quite intimidated by the professional bloggers out there who do this for real. & again here I am being tempted to fall into comparison & discontentment. & then I think wow, I need something more. Maybe I should buy something to make my blog fancier. Maybe I should work harder. Maybe I should do more. {Enter discontentment}. 

Maybe facebook isn't the real culprit. Maybe it's really my heart trying to cling to the more in this life. What do I actually need? Other than Jesus, that is. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The real kicker is that I know the truth. I have grown up in the church. I have read my Bible until it is literally falling apart in my hands. I know that what God has planned will far exceed any plans I could ever even imagine for myself {Ephesians 3:20}. I know that God is working all things for my good {Romans 8:28}.


Yet here I sit scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, & scrolling. When I get bored, what do I turn to? Social media. I check in to see what everybody else is doing today? Oh, she's on vacation. If only I could go on vacation somewhere. Oh, she's wedding planning. If only there was even hope for one day planning a wedding. Oh, she's doing really fun things for her job. If only my job had cool things like that to do.

Suddenly, I am so deep in a pit of discontentment that I cannot even see the light at the top. I'm in utter darkness. Nothing about my circumstances seems good enough or fun enough or cool enough.

Don't get me wrong, God can use social media to further His kingdom, spread the Gospel, & plant seeds in the hearts of those who do not know Him. But Satan is also running rampant on social media. He delights in seeing us drown ourselves in discontentment & ignore the true source of contentment.

So what do we do about this?

For me, there has to be a healthy limit. There has to be a point where I say no more. There is a time to step away and reevaluate.

One day at a time. So I need a plan of action for today. Here it is.

Course of action: I will limit my social media usage {specifically facebook} to checking on the phone two times a day. & only after I have spent quality, solid time with the Lord in order to focus my heart on Him & find contentment in Him before subjecting myself to the differently lead lives of others.

Stay tuned for day three of thirty-one of my journey to contentment in  Jesus & feel free to check out the rest this series here.

31 Days to Contentment

Oh how contentment eludes me. It has always eluded me. But thanks to the 31 days {writing challenge} I am going to spend the month of October finding my contentment in God. 

Where do I search for contentment? Typically in worldly things also known as my possible future husband, my friendships, my weight, my appearance, my job, my family, & pretty much anything else you can think of. Because in all seriousness, my heart is so prone to wander. 

Why is my heart so stubborn? I am continually turning to a million & one other things to complete me & give me contentment, but they never fill me. ever. 

When do I struggle the most? The number one culprit of my discontentment. Facebook &/or all social media. Anybody else been in that same boat? It's not until I'm looking into the FB window of everyone else's life that I start to think less of my life and lose all contentment.



What is a girl to do? Well, this girl is gonna write about it. & for 31 days at that. 

Check back here for daily updates. 

Day one. Intro. You're here. 
Day three. This is the Start 
Day four. Just a Glimpse
Day seven. The Other Side
Day eight. She Laughed
Day nine. Don't Look Back
Day ten. A Heart Divided
Day twelve. My Prayer
Day thirteen. Pressing On
Day fourteen. I May Be
Day fifteen.  Halfway to Forever
Day sixteen. The Long Haul
Day seventeen. The Silver Lining
Day eighteen. Just a Glimpse {Round 3}
Day twenty-one. Everyday is a New Day
Day twenty-two. Nothing New Here
Day twenty-three. Mirror Mirror
Day twenty-four. Doing Some Backtracking 
Day twenty-six. Make Me Content 
Day twenty-seven. If You're Single & You Know It  
Day twenty-eight. #GirlProblems 
Day twenty-nine. Do Something
Day thirty. The Battle of the Scale  
Day thirty-one. 31 days later

ONE HUNDRETH POST

Okay, technically this is 101, but don't judge me. I never claimed to be perfect. Life got away from me there for a second and 100 passed by before I could publish this little gem of a post. Kind of an introduction of sorts to the new blog look. Here we go.

May 10, 2010. The date of my first ever blog post. I didn't know what I was doing. & I sure didn't expect this little blog to become such an important part of my life.

Since 2010, the purpose of this blog has definitely changed a few times. It started out as a way to keep family & friends updated on my travels in Ukraine when I spent the summer there as a BSU missionary. I enjoyed writing/updating on the blog, but it didn't really stick at first.

It wasn't until July 21, 2011 that God gave me a vision for where He wanted this blog to go and how He wanted to use it for His glory. That was the day that this blog turned into a place where things get real. There's no sugar-coating. no pretending. no faking it here. I began bearing my soul and God's pursuit of my heart & life right here for all the world to see ... okay. maybe not the whole world. like twenty people. but still. I knew that in order to be effective for God's purposes, I had to be open & honest about my struggles, my victories, my emotions, my hurts, my joys. literally my everything. It was scary. This blog is more than a place to just type words on a page. It is more about God speaking to the hearts of those who need to hear these words {especially me}. When I feel the most inadequate to do this, God reminds me that He uses it for His purposes not mine. Just as I finish what feels like the most scatterbrained post ever, someone sends me a message telling me God spoke to them through it. Reminds me of the verse that I will boast all the more in weakness because through Him my weakness are made strong.

Summer of 2011, God was wrecking my heart & life over my attitude toward my singleness. I have/had so many friends in this boat with me. I sincerely doubt they were as bad off as I was/am, but I knew God had something to say to single Christians that He wanted to say through me. I was hurting so badly that I was willing to do anything to allow God to overhaul my heart & life in order to empty it of my dreams. my plans. my desires. In order to replace them with His dreams. His plans. & His desires. Since then I have gone back and reread those posts from that time, & I don't recognize the words. It wasn't me writing. It was God speaking directly to my heart. Every time I write on here, I publish the post and go back to read it one last time {usually to proofread}, but as I read, it's like I'm reading it for the first time. It is so clear that God is working here on this simple little blog of mine. I praise God for that.

Singleness was the only focus for awhile on here, but soon God started impressing other topics on my heart. The blog again morphed into a forum for me sharing what God is teaching me. He continually teaches me through the words on this page. He speaks so much truth into my life from this place.

Just a few posts that have so radically changed my heart & provided such powerful clarity are linked below:

As I step out on this crazy new journey in NOLA, I am thrilled to be stretching & expanding my faith & trust in God. My life is nothing without Him, and at the end of the day, I choose Him. I choose Him. I choose Him over earthly things such as comfort, happiness, possessions, relationships. In Him, I find the greatest comfort, more than happiness ... joy, treasures in heaven, & the greatest love of all time. Oh how He fills the deepest longings of my heart & soul.

Documenting my life {without borders} here should be an adventure that you won't want to miss.

I'm stepping out. Who's coming with me?

God's calling you to step out. Trust Him. Put your faith in Him.

Here's to one hundred more posts glorifying the Creator of the universe, the Lover of my soul, & the God who calls us out onto the water where our faith will be made stronger.

Here's to {Without Borders: A Life Documented}.




I'm A Runner

I wish I was talking about the physical activity of running. Because goodness knows I wish I was good at that versus the running I'm referring to. 

Nope, I mean running from God. I'm a runner. I see God do these amazing things and work in crazy awesome ways. And then I get scared. I take my eyes off of Him. And I run. Not necessarily fast running. More like a turtle pace which is really my actual real life running pace. Turtle speed. But none the less I run. 



And here is where Hosea comes in. This book of the Bible is brutal. I started out reading each chapter judging God's people in thier God-doubting, idol-worshipping, back-sliding ways. I thought I was above that. At the end of each chapter, I felt the overwhelming conviction that my name could just as easily be read in place of Ephraim and so on. I doubt. I have idols. I have tried to run. 

Why did I run? I was scared. Scared of what God may have me do next. Coming off a season of such huge growth in my relationship with the Lord and such intense clarity and direction, I took that leap of faith. I followed God on this unexpected journey down to NOLA. I was obedient, so I can coast for a little while, right? Never. Before I knew it, I was doing the expected. Only what is expected of me. I was/am doing the bare minimum. Which led me into a state of fear. What if God asks me to do something else frightening? What if I can't do it? What if it's hard? 

So, I ran. 

But the beauty is in the return. 



I'm done running. It's not worth it. 

I want to return and run with endurance the race set out before me. 

I'm a runner. 

But it's time to run in the direction of my God. The only running I'm gonna be doing is closer to Jesus. 

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This blog post is a part of #SheSharesTruth with SheReadsTruth.com. 
Check out other blog posts about Hosea and what the other women in the SRT community learned through this study here

When {You} Think

When you think you have it all figured out, you don't.
When you think you have it all planned, you don't.
When you think you have it under control, you don't.
When you think it's all about you, it's not.
When you think ..... 

My thinking gets me in trouble 100% of the time. 
This is the intro to a never posted new year's blog post:

"So long, farewell .... to {TWENTY THIRTEEN}. It's safe to say that it was a year filled with more {changes} than I have experienced in my entire lifetime.
The beginning of my last semester of school related to speech path, my introduction into the medical SLP world, my miracle of God passing of both comps and the speech path PRAXIS, the end of my graduate school career {insert party horns}, my around the world trip to Ukraine to tell people about Jesus, & the start of my first.ever.big girl.job. Wowza. That's a whole lot of change. I'm really leaving out the majority of the year too, so it's safe to say that 2013 held some pretty big life moments.
But strangely, I'm so happy to see it go.
I'm ready for a little slowing down of life changes and would relish a little normalcy/routine. Sounds pretty boring, huh? I just don't even care."

 Note the second to last line. "I'm ready for a little slowing down of life changes." You're laughing right now, aren't you? Goodness  knows I am, because the girl that wrote those words meant them with every fiber of her being. But that girl is now sitting in an apartment in New Orleans, Louisiana, hundreds of miles away from her family, in the midst of a brand new job, starting completely over in every area of her life. What went wrong? How did this happen? 

Let me answer that for you. God happened. Faith happened. Trust happened. 
I'm still processing this enormous change in my life.
 If you've read my blog for very long, you know that I don't handle change well, & clearly God decided we are gonna work on that. I really did have great plans. FYI I am a planner. That might even be an understatement, but I don't know that there even is a more extreme word {at least not one I'd be willing to use}.  I like to plan things. This creates mass chaos in my life quite often. My plans always end in disaster.

For example, I recently {like this summer} decided that I had found the perfect plan. The plan was exactly how I had pictured. It met all of my criteria for this plan that I've had since I was like 16. I was set. Plan in motion. Somewhere along the way, I felt God telling me He had different plans. I rebelled. I decided that voice couldn't be God telling me my plans weren't His plans {because it's not like He says that in the Bible. Note: Sarcasm}. I forged on through with my plans, & unfortunately for me & those involved, it ended in disaster. My heart in pieces. again. Not to mention the others involved {whom I never stopped long enough to think nor care about}. It's all about me & my plans, right?
via shereadstruth.com
Wrong.
I was wrong. I was most definitely the one who was wrong. My plans failed. Per the norm.

Now God's plans. Those are worth waiting for. I wouldn't have planned this. I just wouldn't have. I love my family, my friends, my comfort zone, my church, my life too much to plan to leave them. But I know God has bigger plans. He has plans that I know nothing about. His plans have a purpose. His plans are to glorify Himself. Not me. His plans may take me down some paths that don't make sense to anyone else in the world, but that's where the trust & faith come into the picture.
Are we willing to put all of our trust in Him?
Are we willing to live out our faith?
I don't know about you, but I'm sure ready to try. I will probably fall on my face a thousand more times. I will probably mess up things a thousand more times. I will probably not get it right a thousand more times.
But that one thousandth and one time.
God's got this. I know that.

As always I feel like these words are insufficient to truly explain/describe what God's doing, but I pray that just one heart relates to what I'm going through. & you can hear me say. It's gonna be okay. God's got this.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)

I'm Back

I'm back from yet another unintentional blogging lapse. I miss this place when I'm not writing. Writing has become therapy for me as well as my way of processing what God is teaching me. Maybe you'll notice the new setup/design/layout. Maybe you haven't. I decided that this new journey I'm setting out on deserved a little revamping. Considering the impact Hillsong's Oceans song has had on me and it was instrumental in God getting me down here to NOLA, I knew I wanted to use it in some way.

{Without Borders}. God has called me to live my life {without borders}. To trust him {without borders}. Have faith {without borders}. To love others {without borders}. Borders imply limitations & set expectations. With God there are no limitations. There is nothing stopping me with God on my side.

When God first called me to move down here to NOLA, I was a hot mess. But I kept hearing Him say, Trust me, Jenna. Just trust me. The lyrics to the Oceans song played over & over in my head.


As scary as it has been to uproot my entire life and relocate in a completely new and unfamiliar place, I feel God's guiding hand and presence all around me. I know he brought me down here, and I know He is going to take care of me. I can trust in that. 
The new journey ahead of me is a surprise to me each & every day. I never know what's going to happen next, but I'm so ready to follow wherever God leads. 

Here's to faith. love. trust, & life {without borders}.




Breaking News

Imagine that news sound clip that might add a snippet of dramatics just to enhance this moment.
I do have news. Very exciting news. & maybe a little scary. Also terrifying. Note the mixed feelings. We'll get to that in a second. 

Several weeks ago {about March 29 to be exact}, I was in the midst of the SheReadsTruth Jonah reading plan which was the preparatory step to what ended up being one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my 25 short years. Welcome to adulthood, Jenna. 

I had just recently gotten out of my mouth {or fingers considering I typed it on my blog} that I didn't have a Ninevah. I mean really? I'm not Jonah. I'm. Not. Jonah. Okay, yes, yes, I am. 

Not like the "going to Tarshish" Jonah. Because goodness knows I don't want to know what a 21st century whale-swallowing looks like. No siree. Not happening. I'm not interested. 

& to top it all off, United had to go & write this song right below. & I had to go & start praying this on a regular basis.



So anyway, back to the story. Jonah had me praying that God would show me my Ninevah {really only because I felt I should not because I had any desire to go anywhere}. Praying began for a Ninevah. Plus I was praying that God would lead me where my trust is without borders. That I would walk out upon the waters wherever He may call me. I prayed that He would take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, so my faith would be made stronger.

Now that you have the background info, let's go back to March 29. I was in Columbus for Homecoming. This one place kept coming up in conversation. Okay, just dandy. As I drove home later that night, I was catching up with my dear friend, Alicia, about life & craziness. It truly all of sudden just felt like this deep knowing in my heart that God was calling me to a new place. 

via
I panicked in true Jenna fashion. The waterworks & all. I definitely looked & sounded like Jonah in that moment. I complained. A lot. & then I explained to God all the reasons why this would not work & did not make sense. Two days later, I told my parents. Shoutout to the parents for reacting like parents. Not exactly what you want to hear from your youngest child/daughter. 

Within just a few weeks, my mom and I planned a trip down to check everything out. It just felt right. Not one bit of doubt crept into my heart. I kept asking God for confirmation that this was what He wanted me to do. One thing I was sure of was that this was not necessarily my ideal plan. Sure it is super exciting, but have I mentioned yet that this is incredibly terrifying? 

One thing after another. I actively put feet to my faith. I couldn't just sit back and expect anything happen. I prayed that God would close any door that I wasn't to walk through. All along the way, I just felt an overwhelming peace. 

I got a couple job interviews and wondered on the way home how I would ever decide which one to go with if I were to be offered both. By the time I got home {& after talking it over with my mom}, I knew which one was for me. I was offered the job the next day. Pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place.

Let me be perfectly clear. This. was. not. my. plan. We won't even go down that road, but in all seriousness, my plan was far from the path I am about to pursue. 

Where am I going? In August, I am moving to New Orleans. {insert face full of very mixed emotions}
 

Why am I going? First & foremost because my parents have taught me to be obedient not only to them but more importantly to God. But I am also going because my heart is missions {no matter where in the world God places me}. I have dreaded seminary classes for long enough. Slowly but surely God has softened my heart & created in me a desire to dig deeper into His Word & for me that means taking seminary classes. I wanted to be prepared just as the Bible tell us. "But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness & respect." {1 Pt 3:15 ESV}. 

My heart is breaking for all that I will be leaving, but at the exact same time, my heart is bursting with excitement over the adventure ahead. I am 25, single, and thrilled to be living life according to God's leading. I'm following Him wherever He leads. I say that all the time, & it is now time for me to put action to my words. I know my life/decisions may not make sense to everybody, but as a very wise & older friend once told ... "I'd rather have God's presence than an explainable existence." 


When You Miss the Target

Kind of like when you fall off a horse {mind you, I've never done that & I never plan to}. But regardless, you brush yourself off & you GET. BACK. ON.
The other day I was in Target {hence the use of the word in the title} & strongly felt God telling me to speak to this employee at the dressing rooms. Tell her that I'd like to know how I can pray for her. My response. No. I'm in a hurry. I already have cold groceries & I'm pushing it on time. My bargain with God. Okay, okay, I'll do it but only if no one else is around to hear/see me do this. Walk out the dressing room door & notice she's pregnant. Of course I should say something. Even if it makes me sound crazy. Gonna do it. Gonna do it. Gonna do it. AAANNNNND there's some complete stranger walking within 50 feet who may hear/see me & think I'm crazy. Nope not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. Why should I, God? Answer me that. 

I'm too busy. And just like that I walked away. Ashamed. Mortified. Embarrassed. Angry. Stupid. Ignorant. Prideful. The list goes on. I pray someone else was obedient that day, because I was anything but. 
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What is wrong with me? Why didn't I say something? Did I really think that God would ask me to do something for no reason? No purpose? No higher meaning? 

Shame on me. Paul states it so eloquently when he says I do what I do not want to do and I don't do what I want to do. So messed up. Ultimately, I think my inability to say anything stems from pride. What will people think of me? They will think I am crazy or psychotic. But seriously, why do I care?

I do believe there is hope for me yet. 

Matthew 28:16-20 ... He commands us to go & tell. But He also tells us that He will be with us always. I have to cling to that. I'm setting a goal. From now on, I am going to step out on faith. I am going to look for opportunities to be obedient. Not because it's comfortable or easy or particularly fun sometimes. But because I have to. I am compelled to share this fire within me. I will break through this barrier that I've built if it is the last thing I do.

The whole premise of this blog is {learning}to be the light ... as in the present progressive tense {excuse me while I go a little grammar crazy on you}. Present progressive tense expresses an action that is ongoing. This walk of faith with God is a continual process. Forever learning. To be the light.

Learning to be the Light,
Jenna


Striving for the Impossible

The signs are unclear.

The signals are mixed. 

The rules are fuzzy. 

The lines are blurred. 

The system is broken. 

But I'm not talking about the government, healthcare, or any other popular opinion of our modern day society. I'm talking about our world which is filled with sin and darkness and corruption. 
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But really I'm talking about the impossible standards placed on single Christians {especially females since I can only vouch for my friends and myself} in the dating game in their twenties to thirties {more specifically those past the college years where new relationships go to die}. Forgive the dramatics but I'm attempting to make a point. I'm constantly mentally exhausted by the barrage of well-meaning articles telling me "don't be too this" and "make sure to be that" BUT "do not ever be this" and "only be that". I cannot even keep up with what I am expected to be. Who could with all these ever-changing perceptions of what we have to be to attract a like-minded single Christian? 

If I'm losing you in my somewhat long winded psycho babble, allow me to give you examples. 

Example one. Don't throw yourself at guys. Okay, check. I can refrain from doing that. Hmm ... Not so hard. But then. 

Example two. Don't hide yourself away. Make yourself known. You can't expect a guy to notice you unless you give him a little encouragement. Oh brother. Now I'm in trouble. Not my forte. 

Example three. Wait on God's timing. Oh okay. Well, easy enough. I like this one. But wait. 
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Example four. Sign up for christianmingle.com TODAY. Dont wait. God's match for you is waiting behind door number one. Or was that door number two. Uh oh. There's a door number three. 

Example five. Don't be needy. GREAT! I got this one down. I will be independent and prove that I am strong. BUT. 

Example six. Don't be too independent. If you're too independent, a guy will never feel needed by you. Oh ... Well, that stinks. 

Example seven. Set your standards high. Oh check, check, and check. Tall, dark, and handsome, right? Wrong. 

Example eight. Don't set your standards so high that you miss the "perfect" guy who just so happens to be a pale, 4 foot tall boy {only kidding}. Throw your laundry list to the wind, girls. 

Example nine. Run your race with your eyes fixed on Jesus. Okay, got it. Now this I can do. 
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Example ten. But don't forget to look both ways while you're running for Mr. Right. Wait what? I thought I was supposed to keep my eyes on Jesus. 

Example eleven. Surround yourself with good, Christian guys who have the same passion for God that you do ... Does going to a primarily women's university for 6 years count? 

Example twelve. When you can view every guy as a brother in Christ instead of a potential husband, you are good as gold. Okay ... Not check. 

I know I'm stretching some intentions and slightly dramatizing the points to make them more clear, but really this is how I feel. I feel overwhelmed and bombarded by so many different standards for what I'm doing right or horribly wrong. Let's face it ... If it is left up to me, I'm going to fail. royally. I know that, and more importantly, God knows that. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for people who have taken the time to share their expertise or opinion about these things which I have no life experience in, but at some point, something has got to give.  
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Last two examples. 

Example thirteen. Be content in your relationship with God and God alone. God will give you a husband when you are content with being single. Okay, so check ... Now what? 

Example fourteen. I got nothing else ... I'm too distracted by the baloney I typed above. Cue soapbox. 

Please read this very carefully. For those of you amazing girls who got married between the ages of 16-22, God bless you. I am so inconceivably happy for you. It blesses my heart to see what God is doing in your life and how He will use your marriage to glorify Him if you allow it to. I believe with every fiber of my being that your calling in life to be married is valid and beautiful and meaningful and special. But what I am asking of you is to pay those who aren't married by 22 the same respect that you have been given. Please don't invalidate our walk with the Lord because it doesn't look like yours. And Lord, help us, insinuating that the reason we're not happily married is because we're not content with God or being single will only serve to hurt and to damage the hearts of your dear sisters. It's just not okay to assume that the reason I'm not married by 25 is that a)I've done something wrong, b)God is punishing me, or c)my relationship with God is not good enough. 

Let's be clear about something, the past three years of my life have been the most challenging and thriving time in my walk than I've experienced in all my quarter of a century life. Marriage or no marriage, God and I are on great terms, and I trust Him with all that I am. My calling in life is not less or insignificant because it does not currently involve a husband. I'm running my race and you'll have to forgive me but I'm not gonna play by anyone's rules {except for God's, that is} ... Even if it is a sure-fire way to get me married. 
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I want Jesus more. I want Him more than I want money. love. contentment. acceptance. security. worth. value. husband. 

Because I already have all these things in Jesus. He satisfies the deepest longings of my soul. I want for nothing. I have everything in Him. 

Learning to be the Light, 
Jenna

P.S. All the beautiful prints of Bible verses were created by Shannon and you can find those here on her blog. I'm so thankful that she made these available as reminders of our great God. 

Where is My {Ninevah}?

Before now I had decided that I didn't have a so-called {Ninevah}. God put this on my heart through the SheSharesTruth challenge given by the SheReadsTruth community. I thought I would write a sweet little post about asking God to show me my {Ninevah} although I knew I couldn't possibly have a {Ninevah} since I'm always just so obedient {note sarcasm}.
Jonah 1:1-3
"Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, 'Arise, go to Ninevah, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.'  BUT JONAH rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord. {ESV, emphasis mine}"
I don't want to be Jonah. I don't want to flee to Tarshish. I don't think I've ever had a reason to flee to Tarshish, because overseas missions is my passion. That's really all God has ever called me to.

Right?

Or not? My story is far from over. As the quote in my senior yearbook said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." {thanks Corrie Ten Boom}. Stay tuned for the conclusion of the story entitled {Be Careful What You Pray For}.

The {Pride} Before the Fall

Jonah 3-4 SheReadsTruth

While reading chapter 4 of Jonah today, I became rather indignant that I would never expect God to treat anyone any different than me. Definitely not less. But better? Hmmm .... I didn't want my mind to go there. 

Jonah was angry. So angry {in fact} he would've rather died. {& girls are the dramatic ones?!?} okay. okay. kidding. God had mercy on such terrible and wicked people. But they needed salvation just as much as Jonah, right? Why was Jonah so angry? 

I could never relate to this story until today. God reminded me of how I'm just like Jonah. 

Now beware. This is the ugly side of me. The not pretty, not nice, not merciful side of me. That I'm anything but proud of. 

I've done everything possible to live my life by the book. Following the rules. Listening to my elders. Taking instruction. & so on & so on. I did everything right, so I should be rewarded with whatever I want, RIGHT??? 

This sounds even worse written out than it does in my head but here it goes:
I was obedient=I don't get a {insert boyfriend, skinny body, date, the list goes on}
Unnamed person is NOT obedient=She gets a {insert boyfriend, skinny body, date, etc} 

Here you are allowed to picture my 3 year old tantrum, because that is exactly what it is. 

I'm just like Jonah. Drowning in pity for myself & anger over things not going {my way}. Selfish, pitiful me. 

God's plans are bigger than my plans. His thought higher than my thoughts. Who am I? To judge? To decide? 

I'm not. 

But. 

I AM is. 

When I become prideful of what I have done, God has to use whatever measures necessary to bring me to my knees to remind me that He is the only one who has done anything. Scratch that. Everything. 

My precious God & Father, how I pray that my heart is moved into a position of gratitude and humility to become more of the woman you created me to be. 

What is {Lent} Anyway?

Lent never really made sense to this Baptist-raised Mississippi Girl. I had friends who did it, & every now & then I might attempt to give something up which only lasted for a few days really. I knew it had deeply spiritual meaning, but the problem was that I couldn't really see that lived out in the people who were partaking in it. Rarely had I ever seen anyone bear incredible fruit from their sacrifice of dr. pepper or chocolate {which can be done if done in the right way}. It was more like a parade of religious self-righteousness than humble worshipers.

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Participating in #SheReadsTruth devotionals each morning has given me a brand new view of Lent. One that I know will continue with me the rest of my life. This Lent season I will sacrifice something in the privacy of my heart, mind, & soul to help me grow in a more intimate way with the Lord Jesus while also reflecting on the beautiful season of Easter approaching. Oh to dwell in the presence of God & marvel over all He has done. 
Psalm 130 {HCSB}
Out of the depths I call to You, Yahweh!
Lord, listen to my voice; let Your ears be attentive to my cry for help.
Yahweh, if You considered sins, Lord. who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness, so that You may be revered.
I wait for Yahweh; I wait and put my hope in His word.
I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning --
more than watchmen for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord.
For there is faithful love with the Lord, and with Him is redemption in abundance.
And He will redeem Israel from all its sins.
The promise I hear ringing in these words is "Redemption is coming." As we prepare our hearts for Easter & the celebration of victory over sin, I stand in awe of a God who knew long before it was to happen that He would send His only Son to redeem the world. 

Promise fulfilled. Redemption is here.


#SheSharesTruth
Check out some other awesome reflections on Psalm 130 here.

It's a Diet, It's a New Year's Resolution, NO, It's ...

CONVICTION.

Straight up. full-blown. Conviction.

On a regular basis, I get asked:
*why are you eating so healthy?
*why are you always working out?
*why aren't you eating any cake/dessert/candy?
*are you not going to eat something?
*don't you want a/an {insert some exceptionally tempting food}?

I get the questions are totally out of curiosity/concern/love, etc... but I never really know how to answer them. I'm not dieting. It's not a new year's resolution. It's pure conviction. & the reality is that no one really wants to hear that, because food/gluttony is such a socially acceptable sin amongst the church today.
Let me dive into some Scripture that surrounds my conviction:
*disclaimer: after each verse is my personal interpretation of the Scripture based on the Holy Spirit's leading/guiding during my quiet times & even potentially out of the typical context of the verses. God spoke to me through His Word and specifically targeted my area of sin/struggle.*

1 Corinthians 6:12 "'Everything is permissible for me'  -- but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' -- but I will not be mastered by anything."

Whew ... this one gets me every time. But seriously. I was being mastered by food in my life. Is there really anything else to be said about that? It speaks for itself. Yes, we have to have food to eat {that's a fact}, so in the real world, food will be everywhere. All food is allowed but it's not all beneficial for my body. It is all permissible, but I can only serve one master. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
The Naked Truth
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My brain organization of this one goes like this: So let me get this straight. My body is a temple ... everything I put into my temple either honors or dishonors God. Wowzers. Give me a second while I regain the feeling in my body. That just about knocks me out. The implications of that single verse is enough to make me never even want to eat again, but nevertheless, I've never been capable of being anorexic {so no worries on that front}

1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God -- even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."

I can glorify God through what I eat & drink? Well, that changes the game a bit. I am constantly seeking God to find ways that I can glorify Him through everything I do but to know that I can do that with eating & drinking definitely adds a whole new meaning to what I'm doing. I want to glorify God through everything I do even down to the smallest of things. Nothing matters compared to the glory of God. The other side of this is that I want my actions {even eating & drinking} to point others to Christ so that maybe {just  maybe} they will come to know Him because of it. That's the whole meaning of my existence anyway. To be an example of Christ.

So that sums up the verses that led to my current conviction regarding my healthy lifestyle, but there has to be more. Being convicted is only one side of the coin, there's other side of it that requires some action. I had to figure out a way to fight the fight and defeat this struggle once & for all through Christ's strength.
Now I'll reveal my battle plan in Scripture:

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Jesus experienced every temptation that I am faced with hourly, daily, weekly, etc. My number one is to fight back with the word of God because it is alive and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. My God gave us a tool to fight temptation. Temptation for me doesn't come in public places. I'm so over cake and terrible foods at restaurants. I am my own worst enemy, & the real temptation for me comes when I am all alone. It's in those moments that God gives me a way out. He is faithful every time.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

signin
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Fixing my eyes on Jesus. & Jesus only. The holy and most precious Word of God can satisfy my every desire & longing {including those for food}. It works. Fool-proof. 100% guaranteed. 

Sadly the overall state of health in the church is dismal. I'm so tired of feeling bad for eating healthy or feeling like I'm the one doing something wrong. I'm more than happy to talk about it if you're willing to hear my truthful answer. The reality is that it is insanely difficult to eat healthy in our society, and one meal gone wrong can completely throw me off for an entire week. I'm trying to avoid sin here, and the temptations are around every corner.

I have no desire to take on the topic of the obesity epidemic in the church in this blog post. What I do want to do is give an honest and open look at my heart's biggest struggle. I've lost this battle over & over & over again. I've cried myself to sleep over it more times than I can count. I have spent the majority of my life living defeated by this sinful lifestyle.

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The problem comes when I try to satisfy my body with food {or anything else other than Jesus aka marriage, money, status}. If only I stopped eating when I should, but I don't. I keep eating & eating. 

Here recently I've rediscovered a verse that I've always enjoyed but I've now found new meaning to it. 

When I truly feast on the Word of God, the taste of the Lord is so sweet & satisfying that I couldn't possibly even think of food or anything else. 

Every day I get up and put on the armor of God. I have to protect myself from the sin, the temptation, the world. Without God, I fail. With Him, I finally break free of these chains. 

No matter what area of my life God is working on, I'm continually learning that the answer to all my problems is: only Jesus can satisfy. 

Only Jesus. Not food. Not a guy. Not marriage. Not children. Not anything of this world. 

Only. Jesus.



The {Blogging Dilemma} of Twenty Fourteen

I want to write, but I don't want to just write. I want to write something God-glorifying, meaningful, & life-changing.  That's asking a lot of a simple, little blog, right? I realize that, but I also recognize that God is bigger & mightier & cooler than most people give Him credit for.

This blog is for Him. & Him only.
"Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
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That's why I started this blog, & that will be the reason I end it. I wait for each & every step that God tells me to take.

God has been teaching me so much lately about life & myself & the world. It all overwhelms me at times. I want so badly to simplify my life down to the very basic necessity: Jesus.

There are things that get in the way. Life. Love. Family. Work. Schedules. Technology. The list goes on & on & on.
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I never want to fill this space with empty words. I want God to use these words to speak to hearts just like He has to mine. I pray this post is a catalyst for me seeking God's words not my own.

What will you find here on this {God}-blog, you ask?

Well, probably a little bit of everything with a side of honesty, humility, & truth ... & quite possibly a big ole plate of {real life}.

God has been relentless as always here of late when it comes to my health {aka body/self image/weight}, my day-to-day walk with Him, Scripture memorization, & life lessons.

That's why this is calling {Learning} to be the Light.

28 Days of Thanksgiving {Single Edition}

Has anyone else noticed their facebook newsfeed being constantly bombarded by a million and one well-meaning/some trashy/junk/cry fest articles & videos along with the five thousand thankful posts? Don't get me wrong I love these & I read more of them than I am willing to admit at the present moment. But for the most part, my brain has been on complete overload with all of it ... Not the point of this post ... moving on. I do genuinely love the thankful posts, but for some reason {unbeknownst to me} I can't get on that bandwagon & post those every day.

So in typical God fashion, here I am on my humble little blog of 20 something followers expressing a reason *all 28 of them* for every day leading up to & including {THANKSGIVING}about why being single is good. {Short disclaimer: this by no means is intended to undermine the blessing of marriage or make it seem that I think I am any more blessed than the next average jane. I am simply following God in obedience by taking this opportunity to see the blessings God has given me during this season of my life *which just so happen to be directly correlated to my singleness & my desperate need to be more thankful in my circumstances*. Okay. end of my not so short disclaimer.}

Every year around this time, the lovey dovey posts multiply by the thousands {and rightfully so ... no judgment here} as well as all the perfect Christmas card photos displaying couple after couple madly in love. Excuse me while I barf. haha. just kidding. kind of. No, seriously ... please post yourselves silly to give as much publicity to whatever blessings God has given you from the moutaintops, because seeing happiness, blessings, & uplifting material boasting about our amazing God on social media has become so few and far between that it's important that the world sees at least a little bit of Christ in the so-called Christian community. Not to mention, I have a tendency to view singleness as a punishment or something when in reality it can {can being the key word depending on your my disposition} be just as rewarding and blessed.

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Well, here goes. Buckle up. The ride could get bumpy.

I'm thankful for ...

28} My quiet cellphone. That sounds weird, but I'm less than thrilled with my phone blowing up on a regular basis. I like not having to watch my phone. When I am conversing with another human being via text, I find it annoyingly necessary to immediately respond. I am not a fan of delayed/ongoing/nonchalant/stupid conversation. So yes {despite how desperate I was as a teenager to have boys text me like they did my friends}, I like a quiet and/or silent cellphone.

27} Being able to make independent decisions without muddying my internal waters with someone else's feelings/thoughts/ideas/opinions. {Don't get me wrong ... I also acknowledge how nice it would be to share life decisions with someone ... just seeing the glass half full here}. I only have to consult God for His guidance for life decisions. no one else.

26} A king bed all to myself. That should speak for itself.

25} & while we're on this general topic. No snoring. {Insert relieved face here}

24} No one to consult about what temperature to keep the thermostat on ... other than my parents who happen to foot that bill.

23} Sitting at home on a Friday night in my PJs watching as many girly tv shows & movies I can find.

22} No-shave winter. Okay, so I do shave occasionally during winter, but the beauty of being single is that I have no one to impress & time is already limited in the morning ... so the first thing to get cut off my morning to do list is the shaving.

21} No stress over ridiculous girl moments I have with warring thoughts of "What is he thinking?" "What did he mean by that?" "Does he even like me?" So not worth it.

20} Not having to spend ridiculous amounts of money on someone for Christmas & birthdays that they probably won't appreciate anyway ... Goes both ways with someone buying me something that I might not be super appreciative of {although I pretty much love all gifts that come from the heart}.

19} Never having to dress up for anyone. Do I choose/have to dress up on Sundays & for work? yes. Do I dress up for any occasion other than that? no.

18} Not having to think about someone watching me eat in what is already a potentially awkward situation {especially with stinking braces ... but side note: braces are coming off in t minus 28 days. whoa buddy}

17} Having a beautiful white Christmas tree covered in pink, purple, blue, & green ornaments. I love having one of the girliest trees on the planet. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

16} & on that note. Being able to buy pink everything. bathroom, bedroom, pillows, plates, cups, etc. I love pink & I'm not ready to give that up just yet.

15} Friends. In my experience with friends, {girl} friends cease to exist when a significant other comes into the picture. Now I may be speaking out of stupidity/lack of experience in this particular situation, but if/when I am ever in a relationship, it doesn't make sense to me to put a friend on the backburner ... but maybe that's just because I've spent the majority of my life on the backburner to everyone else's boyfriend. That's right. I did notice. It did hurt. & the good news is that I've learned from it & I hope to never make my friends feel the way I've felt. Having girls that are as close as sisters who can build us up & uniquely know how our brains function is so important. God gave us friends for a reason, but needless to say I'm thankful for the friends I have right now & the time I have to spend with them. {Sorry didn't realize that was such a touchy topic for me ... moving on}

14} Not having to share. This sounds selfish, but give me a break ... this is not easy coming up with TWENTY-EIGHT reasons that I'm thankful for something that I struggle with being thankful for. :)

13} My independence. & at least give me a little credit for a past blog post about relinquishing some of my obsessive built up need for my independence. That's been mostly shattered by my current living status ... aka my parent's house. But even still, I sure do love my independence, & God is the only dependence I currently see as necessary.

12} Being able to eat at any restaurant I so choose. If I want to eat at subway five times a week, I'll be darn, that's what I'm gonna do. Thankfully, there's no one there to complain about that.

11} & for that matter .... Cooking/Eating whatever I want. Minus my parents, but I'm working on that one.

10} Having the task of cleaning up after myself only ... & if my mom reads this, it's really not necessary to make some mean comment that I don't clean up after myself anyway.

9} Only being financially responsible for myself. & if you know me, you know that's hard enough as it is.

8} The luxury of getting to leave work, go home, & just enjoy the peace & quiet with no plans or schedules. My planner is already crazy enough without someone else doubling that on me.

7} A career that I love & am very passionate about. God called me to speech pathology many years ago, but had I met someone & married in college, I probably would've never followed through with my master's degree. If you've ever talked to me for more than 5 minutes since I started college in August 2007, you know my heart is overseas. The truth is IF I had met someone & gotten married right out of college, I would have probably insisted that a master's degree was unnecessary & encourage said husband to immediately move us/family overseas. So praise the good Lord Jesus above that He didn't allow that & that I am now in one of the most challenging and fulfilling jobs I could ever imagine. Whew ... I sure am thankful for Jesus.

6} A closer walk with the Lord in times of loneliness & fear. When I feel like I can't handle being single for a moment longer, I feel the Lord take my hand & whisper into my heart. "I am enough for you."
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5} The opportunity to just work on me {inside & outside for that matter} & get rid of some of my baggage in life. God has been using this time in my life to refine me. Most of the time it feels like He has me in the fire, but I'm okay with that as long as it draws me closer to Him.

4} The time I have right now to spend investing in & ministering to others. All types of people & especially girls of all ages. My 8th grade sunday school girls. All of the GAs at church whom I have gotten the opportunity to share my passion for missions with.

3} Being able to spend all of my holiday breaks with my family instead of splitting my time & seeing less of my amazing family. {Noted that I'm sure I would love in-laws if I had them; yet, I don't have them... so I'm thankful for the lack of in-laws in my current circumstance}

2} The ability to be able to jump on a plane at any moment & drop everything to go on mission trips over holidays and summer break. I want to tell people about Jesus here & in every deepest, darkest corner of this world. I long & desire to be apart of God's work all over the world to tell every boy & girl, man & woman about the love of Jesus. It is my joy & pleasure to give back what has been so graciously & mercifully given to a wretched sinner like me. I truly believe that God is pacifying my heart in the here & now with a summer break to spend overseas until His plan takes me there more permanently.

1} Being exactly where God wants me & today that is single. I'm most thankful for the fact that God has a special plan for my life. Psalm 139:15-16 says, "My frame was not hidden from {Him} when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, {His} eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in {His} book before one of them came to be." I'm thankful that I'm single, because God has planned for me to be single for His plan and His glory. & that's a good enough reason for me.

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Yep, I think that about covers it. Now please hear me when I say, that IF by some miracle of the good Lord Jesus above I do ever get married, I will probably have to eat every one of these words & actually rewrite this post stating the complete opposite. But in my life {today} these are things that God needed to remind me of to break down my preconceived plans for me & teach me that I have so much to be thankful for & even more to continue working on/growing in the Lord. 

Maybe one day I will have 28 Days of Thanksgiving {Married Edition} ... Only God knows. & if the day never comes, I will rejoice for the life I have been given & praise His name until kingdom come. The greatest blessing on earth is the miracle of the Gospel. God made a way for us despite our dark & sinful ways. He stepped in & sacrificed the innocent blood of Jesus for you & me to gain inheritance in His kingdom. 

Shouldn't every day be Thanksgiving for that reason alone? 

Learning to be the Light, 
Jenna

The In Between Part 2

Oh the in between times of life. Although the particular in between this post was specifically referring to was back in the summer, life has taken me by surprise and kept me so super crazy busy. So for part 2 of those in between times.

I have a big girl job. get out of town. How on earth did that happen? I left the country {aka insert 6 week trip to Ukraine}back in May with no job offer and no assurance of any job. Heck I actually turned a job down in hopes of the current one I have now and because God told me to {gotta love when God tells me to do something that makes no sense to any one in the entire world ... not even me}.

Big girl job hit me like a ton of bricks. literally felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on me when I was recovering from my tonsil/nasal surgery. So needless to say I was hot mess, but I braved the venture out in the real world to check out my very own SPEECH ROOM. Back up. Did you hear that? I have my own speech room? whoa buddy. That takes a second to sink in. Here's some before photos of my blah room:

I couldn't handle the blah, so I attempted to make it look a little snazzier and more like me. Check it out.

Whooooooo loves good speech???? This speech therapist does. ;)


This girl has her very own speech room. And we are 7 to 8 post school starting yet it still hasn't completely sunk in. This definitely makes me feel grown up. Praise the Lord for the job He has provided, and the sweet, precious kiddos I get to love on each and every day.

If all goes as planned, you have lots of blog posts to look forward to including a series of {why} posts that God has recently laid on my heart. Get ready. I'm back to the blogging world.

Learning to be the Light,
Jenna