When {You} Think

When you think you have it all figured out, you don't.
When you think you have it all planned, you don't.
When you think you have it under control, you don't.
When you think it's all about you, it's not.
When you think ..... 

My thinking gets me in trouble 100% of the time. 
This is the intro to a never posted new year's blog post:

"So long, farewell .... to {TWENTY THIRTEEN}. It's safe to say that it was a year filled with more {changes} than I have experienced in my entire lifetime.
The beginning of my last semester of school related to speech path, my introduction into the medical SLP world, my miracle of God passing of both comps and the speech path PRAXIS, the end of my graduate school career {insert party horns}, my around the world trip to Ukraine to tell people about Jesus, & the start of my first.ever.big girl.job. Wowza. That's a whole lot of change. I'm really leaving out the majority of the year too, so it's safe to say that 2013 held some pretty big life moments.
But strangely, I'm so happy to see it go.
I'm ready for a little slowing down of life changes and would relish a little normalcy/routine. Sounds pretty boring, huh? I just don't even care."

 Note the second to last line. "I'm ready for a little slowing down of life changes." You're laughing right now, aren't you? Goodness  knows I am, because the girl that wrote those words meant them with every fiber of her being. But that girl is now sitting in an apartment in New Orleans, Louisiana, hundreds of miles away from her family, in the midst of a brand new job, starting completely over in every area of her life. What went wrong? How did this happen? 

Let me answer that for you. God happened. Faith happened. Trust happened. 
I'm still processing this enormous change in my life.
 If you've read my blog for very long, you know that I don't handle change well, & clearly God decided we are gonna work on that. I really did have great plans. FYI I am a planner. That might even be an understatement, but I don't know that there even is a more extreme word {at least not one I'd be willing to use}.  I like to plan things. This creates mass chaos in my life quite often. My plans always end in disaster.

For example, I recently {like this summer} decided that I had found the perfect plan. The plan was exactly how I had pictured. It met all of my criteria for this plan that I've had since I was like 16. I was set. Plan in motion. Somewhere along the way, I felt God telling me He had different plans. I rebelled. I decided that voice couldn't be God telling me my plans weren't His plans {because it's not like He says that in the Bible. Note: Sarcasm}. I forged on through with my plans, & unfortunately for me & those involved, it ended in disaster. My heart in pieces. again. Not to mention the others involved {whom I never stopped long enough to think nor care about}. It's all about me & my plans, right?
via shereadstruth.com
I was wrong. I was most definitely the one who was wrong. My plans failed. Per the norm.

Now God's plans. Those are worth waiting for. I wouldn't have planned this. I just wouldn't have. I love my family, my friends, my comfort zone, my church, my life too much to plan to leave them. But I know God has bigger plans. He has plans that I know nothing about. His plans have a purpose. His plans are to glorify Himself. Not me. His plans may take me down some paths that don't make sense to anyone else in the world, but that's where the trust & faith come into the picture.
Are we willing to put all of our trust in Him?
Are we willing to live out our faith?
I don't know about you, but I'm sure ready to try. I will probably fall on my face a thousand more times. I will probably mess up things a thousand more times. I will probably not get it right a thousand more times.
But that one thousandth and one time.
God's got this. I know that.

As always I feel like these words are insufficient to truly explain/describe what God's doing, but I pray that just one heart relates to what I'm going through. & you can hear me say. It's gonna be okay. God's got this.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)