God Never Changes

October 8, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.jpg

Feelings are unreliable. They fluctuate based on circumstances. Feelings come and go. But truth stands regardless. Our feelings change. God and His truth never changes.

“The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8

God gave us feelings. They are good indicators for deeper issues. Emotions and feelings can help point us to the source of the problem, but emotions and feelings are not meant to rule our lives. Especially negative emotions.

I have a tendency to repress negative emotions. I don’t want to feel them, so I stuff them back in their box and pretend they are not there. I have mastered the skill of pretending I am great when I am definitely not. I have figured out how to not have to deal with my feelings whatsoever. This plan works great until those emotions and feelings start to spill out of that box and affect my state of mind at a completely random and inopportune moment.

I am learning now to feel my emotions, but not to just feel them but also to let them point to the source of my emotion which can then lead me to the truth. For example: This situation makes me sad. It makes me sad because I am doubting my worth. I am doubting my worth because I have issues with seeing myself the way God sees me. I let myself feel this and I go to Scripture. Psalm 139 comes to mind.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

I feel the emotion, but I take that lie that I am believing about myself and replace it with truth. While my emotions and feelings come and go, the truth of God stands forever. When I am feeling sad, overwhelmed, fearful, hurt, betrayed, lonely, etc, I know these feelings are real, but I cannot let them dictate what I believe about myself or God. Hebrews tell us that “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Heb. 13:8). Let me say it one more time. He does not change based on my feelings and emotions.

Each day this week, I am going to take one of those lies I have believed and attack it with Scripture, God’s Truth. I am gonna go against even my own OCD tendencies and start with the fifth lie I highlighted in my post called 5 Lies I Believed.

Lie #5 I’m not allowed to express my hurt, questions, doubts, fears, or whys to God. I would say this lie is one of the reasons that I even started repressing my emotions. I didn’t want to disrespect or offend God with my questions. I didn’t want to be that bad little girl who disobeyed her father. This led to submitting in all situations without understanding why God wanted me to submit and the love and kindness behind it. What I’ve discovered now is that God wants to help us understand. He may not give us specifics or details, but He will give us His Word to help us.

As I mentioned in my post last week called Let’s Start With Why, I found Scriptural basis for asking God why. I also know that Joshua was scared when he took over from Moses. The words “Be strong and courageous/Don’t be afraid” are said 13 times in the story of Joshua. God already knew how Joshua was feeling how the Israelites were feeling about entering the promised land and taking on their enemies.

God already knows how we are feeling. He knows when we are hurting, worrying, and doubting. He wants to give us truth to hold onto in those times. I think that unless we admit we are in these places of doubt, fear, hurt, pain, and suffering, we will be paralyzed in them. Held captive by them. John 8:32 says, “The truth will set you free.”

I’m ready to lay this lie down and take up truth. God wants my whole heart, and since He already knows my heart and my feelings/emotions, He can handle me sharing those with Him. Let Him replace your lies with truth.

So it’s time for battle. Time to attack those lies and tell Satan he has no foothold in our lives. The enemy has to flee in Jesus’ name. Call out Scripture. This is our weapon. The Sword of the Spirit. He will fight for you.

♥︎Jenna

This blog post is a part of a series called Rediscovering God for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you want to know more about the Write31Days challenge, you can find out more at www.write31days.com.

Songs for the Soul Pt. 1

October 7, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

Music has always moved me. Always spoken to me on a level deeper than just simple words set to musical notes. God very regularly speaks to me through music. In what became one of the darkest seasons of my life, God gave me songs to encourage me and speak truth over me.

This one in particular was the first one that left me speechless and basically a weepy mess. In the midst of the worst of the situation, the word that came to my mind was crushed. I felt crushed. I felt that I had been shattered into a million little pieces. The weight of my sorrow had crushed me. And then I heard this song by HIllsong.

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

Where there is new wine
There is new power
There is new freedom
The Kingdom is here
I lay down my old flames
To carry Your new fire today

I was baffled. Baffled by the kindness of God that the word that felt like defeat was actually a gateway to new level of intimacy with and reliance on God. Without the crushing and pressing of grapes, there would be no new wine. Without the pruning of branches, the vine doesn’t bring about new growth. Only God could redeem a breaking process. Only God could bring new wine out of crushing. Only God could bring a new season out of deep hurt. Only God.

Take a listen to the song below.

♥︎Jenna

Weekend Recommendation Pt. 1

October 6, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

I love a good recommendation. I love when people I trust or people who have been through something like I have recommend things. Books have become a huge source of encouragement and conviction. I want to share a book or resource with you each Saturday that God has used to help me through this difficult season.

“The spider is a lie you have agreed to believe”

— Carlos Whittaker

Recommendation #1 Kill the Spider by Carlos Whittaker. This book has been transformational for changing the way I think and believe about the things holding me back from a fully abandoned life. I first heard of Carlos’ book on Annie F. Downs’ podcast earlier this year and knew immediately that I had to have this book.

The basic premise is that we expend so much energy sweeping away cobwebs in our lives. Whether that be yo-yo dieting, failing relationships, communication issues, etc. We fall into a pattern of climbing up the mountain and sliding back down. And repeat that over and over again. The problem is that the cobwebs/these secondary problems will always come back, because we have not killed the spider. We have not dealt with the source. We have not identified the lies that we have believed about ourselves, about God, and about others.

This book is game changer. I don’t say that lightly. This book will challenge you in the best kind of way. This book gave me the tools I needed to start my journey toward freedom and to identify those lies which had been sabotaging my walk with Jesus all along.

I cannot recommend this book enough. Go find this as your local bookstore or get it on Amazon for only $10. What book recommendations do you have? What books or resources have helped you through a difficult time? Let me know in the comments.

♥︎Jenna

5 Lies I Believed

October 5, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

No one intended to lie to me. No one set out to hurt me. No one ever dreamed that I would grow up and go to seminary (and counseling) only to find out that I had been believing certain lies most of my life. I would have never admitted to believing these things, because at face value they sound ridiculous. They sound like no-brainers. If you had said it to me, I would’ve said no, duh!

But when you have a moment of grief and uncertainty like I did, I had to really dig deep into the recesses of my mind and heart to pinpoint these lies. These lies were skewing my view of God. They were giving me feelings of abandonment, doubt, and pain, because unbeknownst to me, my view of God had been influenced by these lies. And really I never had to face up to these lies until I was pushed to my breaking point. I suddenly had no choice but to face and call out these lies:

Lie #1 If I am a “good girl” and do good things, God will do good things for me and give me what I want.
Lie #2 God is like a vending machine. I put in my good works, and He sends out a corresponding good thing.
Lie #3 Delight yourself in the Lord or rather do everything His way, and He will give you what you want.
Lie #4 God giving anything less than marriage and children isn’t a gift at all but a curse.
Lie #5 I’m not allowed to express my hurt, questions, doubts, fears, or whys to God.

Lies. Lies that have found deep roots in my heart and soul. And now that I know that they are lies, I am having to undo years of emotional and mental damage they caused. I don’t think the church ever intended to hurt me in this way. I think they had very good intentions, but what they didn’t equip me with was the tools to study the Bible and find truth based on Scripture.

Some of these lies probably sound preposterous, and I know what you’re thinking. There’s no way anyone ever said that. They might not have said that in so many words, but it was what I heard and hid in my heart. But I’m done with the lies. They have to go. LIes will only sabotage my relationship and walk with God. I want all of Him. And I want to replace lies with truth.

You’ll have to wait until next week for those. In the meantime, each weekend I am going to take a break from this type of post to share a book and a song that have been instrumental in this season. I am praying that just one person is impacted by this road God has walked me down, but even if not, even if this is just for me, it will all be worth it.

So I have to ask. What lies have you believed? Even if they sound crazy, I want you to write them down and think about it. We have to identify the lies if we are ever going to replace them with truth. It’s time to fight back.

♥︎Jenna

Let's Start With Why

October 4, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

Keep asking your whys.God won't let you down..jpg

Why Rediscovering God? Why do I even need to rediscover God? Why do I feel heretical even asking why? I know where God is and I know who God is. Know is the key word. I’ve known these things since a very young age. I have known God practically my whole life.

David knew God his whole life too. He is known as a man after God’s own heart. And you know what David and I have in common? We both asked God why?

Psalm 10:1 - “Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”
Psalm 22:1-2 - “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”

The word why is found in the book of Psalms alone 22 times. God is clearly okay with us asking why in a reverent and respectful way. Just like David and the other authors of Psalms.

As I reflect back on the situation and the heartache I felt, it wasn’t until after that moment the whys started to surface. I felt nothing and everything all at the same time. My knowledge of God definitely sustained me during this time. I could call to mind Scripture to speak over my mind and heart, but my heart felt so jaded and confused. When I didn’t feel God, I reminded my soul of Scripture. My faith was intact, but my heart was broken.

I wanted clear answers. i wanted to know why if God could do anything He chose to do nothing. I am starting to see the light breaking through the cracks of the darkness I felt for so long. I am starting to understand. Right after it all happened. a friend of mine said this to me:

I believe the Lord was preparing you for this very thing. What a grand gesture from God that he has something better for you. He didn’t just urge you away from it. He slammed the door. God is so fiercely passionate about what he has for you. I hope you can eventually think back on this painful experience and associate it with God moving heaven and earth to protect you from less than his best. -Alicia B.

Seriously, people. Get you a friend like this. I couldn’t fully process her words at that time, because I was so deep in the pain, but now? Now is a different story. Now I can more clearly see the truth. I hope you see that even in the darkest moment of my year, God sustained me with HIs Word. I didn’t stop hurting. I didn’t understand any more. I didn’t have an immediate feeling of happiness. It was still incredibly painful, but God sustained me until I could clearly see.

Now that the darkness has lifted and I’ve made it to the other side, I am learning to process the whys of this life and how I got here. I honestly felt the need to strip away everything I know and believed about God, because I wasn’t sure what was true anymore. I didn’t stop believing in God, but I started to realize that I was believing things about God that weren’t true. Christian culture had taught me a myriad of things that slowly but surely crept their way into my Scriptural beliefs about God.

This experience showed me it was time to strip it all away and only bring back that which is based on God’s Holy Word. So that’s why I’m rediscovering God. Because it matters to me that my beliefs about God are based on the Bible and not on what someone taught me as “truth.”

What have you unknowingly believed about God? What do you need to set straight about God? God’s desire is for us to know and love Him. I believe He is going to show us. I believe that by the end of this process, I will stand even stronger on my faith in God and who He is.

Keep asking your whys. God won’t let you down.

♥︎Jenna

For Those Who Have Experienced Grief

October 3, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.For I.jpg

When I was a teenager, I made very poor decisions on occasion. Possibly more than just on occasion, but that’s beside the point. Diaryland was one of those poor decisions. It was very similar to a blog but in the hands of a teenage girl. What a terrible idea. I aired out every issue and problem I had with full details on that online diary. Things that never should have been published on the internet. I disclosed things that were not honoring to the people in my life.

To that point, I wish I could replay for all of you the horrific details of my dark moment just to give you insight into where I’m coming from and how incredibly difficult it really was, but God has thankfully given me some wisdom over the years. I never want to use my words on this blog to dishonor anyone in my life. And while the circumstances that led me to this moment were brought on by something very specific, my pain and suffering since had been brewing to this unavoidable boiling point long before this happened.

All that to say, I experienced what felt like a knife being driven into my heart. Not by a person, but by God’s silence. I wept for a long time. I wrestled with it. I tried so hard to put on my adult pants and get over it. I really tried. But I kept coming back to the same question: Why, God? Why? I could see bits and pieces of the truth, but the pain was blinding. I couldn’t hold it together anymore.

And God was there. He wasn’t asking me to hold it together. He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Mt. 11:28-30)

He wants us to come to Him with our anger, our hurt, our pain, and our suffering. He is not blind to it. He sees us. He has promised us this in Isaiah 43:1-2-3:

When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior

Even though it felt like I was walking through that very fire mentioned in Isaiah, God was faithful and did not allow me to be burned. He grieved with me. He felt my pain, and it grieved Him. I hope someone else who needs to hear that is reading this: He is grieving with you. He is so grieved by your pain. He hurts for you. He does not take pleasure in your suffering, but instead He asks you to come to HIm. He asks you to let Him comfort you.

I don’t have the answer to my why yet, and I may never have the answer. What I do know is that God met me in my grief. He held me. He let me cry. He encouraged me. He put people in my life to pray for me. He allowed me to speak freely and to work through my hurt. He met me where I was, and He is still walking me through. He will always see me through.

He’s there for you too. He wants to envelop you in His presence and love. He knows what you’re feeling. He knows how much it all hurts. He watched as His only Son was tortured and crucified. He knows grief, and He wants to see you through it. Let him. I can honestly say He’s the only way I’ve come out on the other side. Trust Him.

♥︎Jenna

Know Your Enemy

October 2, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

At the beginning of the year, I knew where I was going and what I was doing. I felt assured in the path I was on, and I was ready to see what God had in store for this year. I expected God to do a mighty work, and He did. I had found a new level of contentment. I had found my place.

And that’s when I felt the warning. Beware. The enemy is on the prowl. Put on your armor. The enemy is out for blood.

Have you ever had one of those almost mountain top experiences where you feel extraordinarily connected to God, but almost as soon as that moment passes, you get a flat tire, break a nail, are given extra work to do, have a sick kid, fight with your spouse/friend? You know what I’m talking about. That moment when you wonder what on earth just happened. Everything was great, but then the enemy attacked.

Our enemy is not the lost keys, your kids, our job, etc. Our enemy is not even the hurt, the pain, the heartache, the diagnosis, or the fear. Our enemy is in the those quiet little lies in those moments that say … Where is your God now? Doesn’t He care about you? Doesn’t He at least owe it to you to stop this from happening?

John 8:44 says, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Our enemy is the FATHER OF LIES. He specializes in the perfect lies to get you to fall prey to his schemes. Not only is he a liar, but he also is here to “steal, kill, and destroy.” (Jn 10:10). He doesn’t come to just hurt, mess up, and irritate. He comes to STEAL. KILL. AND DESTROY.

I am guilty of taking the enemy too lightly. Assuming that he’s not worried about me and that I’ll be fine. That’s so far from the truth. He doesn’t want you or me to find contentment. He doesn’t want us to believe what God says. He doesn’t want us to experience true life. He doesn’t want us to trust God.

I didn’t even see it coming. I was in a great place, and I was making progress like never before. But in my moment of weakness, the enemy planted the smallest seed of fear, doubt, and confusion. The enemy speaks fear, but God says do not fear. The enemy speaks doubt, but God says put your hands in my scars. The enemy speaks confusion, but God says I am the way, the truth, and the life.

This is the first step. Know your enemy. Know that he is real. Know that he hates the plans God has for you. Know that you need to put on the armor (Eph 6). Satan has NO foothold in your life unless you allow him. Take his threats seriously and equip yourself with Scripture. He is ready to battle us, but the question is will we be ready?

Most importantly, know who your God is. Your powerful, faithful, good, mighty, holy God. The same God who has defeated Satan before will do it again. My prayer is that we all acknowledge the enemy gunning for our relationship with God and exercise our faith to embrace the promises God has for us right now and in the days to come.

♥︎Jenna

31 Days to Rediscovering God

October 1, 2018 Jenna McMurphy

Life takes unexpected turns. We all have expectations. These expectations aren’t necessarily bad. We expect that if we do good things, we will get good things. We expect to find love. We expect to get married. We expect to have children. We expect to get a good job. We expect to buy a house. We expect to have our parents with us until they’re 100 years old. More often than not, we expect life to go as we plan.

Most of 2018 has been exceptional. It has been filled with travel, new experiences, friendship, Disneyland, New York City, hope, fun, excitement, and a whole lot of Jesus. Jesus has been the best part. But there was a low moment. A lowest of lows, dark, incredibly difficult, deeply painful moment. It had less to do with the circumstances or cause and more to do with the questions I had for God following it.

I don’t intend to be heretical whatsoever here. My intention is just to start an open discussion that might not be widely talked about. I had so many questions for God.

God, how can you be good when this doesn’t feel good? How can you be kind when this situation has caused the deepest pain? How can you be faithful when I feel like I’ve tried my best to do the right things/to be the good girl yet I’m still in this place with no answer?

From a girl who grew up in the church having believed in God my whole life, these were not questions I had ever had before. Through my questions, I found myself wondering where God was in my pain. I didn’t know how to process my hurt when I felt like God owed it to me to protect me from this. God was pushing the boundaries of my faith, and I was holding on for dear life.

You see, I believe God with every fiber of my being. I believe He exists. I believe He created us and this entire universe. I believe that He is able to do all things. Even the impossible. I believed all of this then, and I believe all of this now. The problem was figuring out how I could hold my belief that God can do anything and the reality that He chose not to do anything in this situation.

When everything in me wanted to run, I clung to the Word. I made the conscious decision to dig my heels in even harder. I was not gonna let the enemy win in this situation. Of one thing I was certain: The enemy was not going to win. I was not going to let Satan’s lies replace the truth I have always known:

God is good. God is kind. God is faithful.

For the next 31 days, I want to share the process God invited me into to rediscover who He is based on Scripture and not cultural Christianity. I set out to rediscover God. That He is who He says He is. That He will do what He says He will do. That He will fulfill His promises. I am currently coming out on the other side with the most peace and hope that I’ve ever known, because God has used and is still using this process to grow my faith and continue to teach me full reliance on Him through every season.

As always, I am completely unsure of where God is going with this or who else needs to hear what God has taught me and is currently teaching me through this difficult season. I can assure you that I am praying for God’s words to be typed on this page and for His ultimate purposes to prevail through me and this writing series.

♥︎Jenna

one // 31 Days to Rediscovering God
two // Know Your Enemy
three // For Those Who Have Experienced Grief
four // Let’s Start With Why
five // 5 Lies I Believed
six // Weekend Recommendation Pt. 1
seven // Songs for the Soul Pt. 1
eight // God Never Changes
nine // God is Good
ten // When Things Don’t Go As Planned
eleven // God is Just
twelve // God is Kind
thirteen // Weekend Recommendation Pt. 2
fourteen // Songs for the Soul Pt. 2
fifteen // God Gives Us What We Need
sixteen // God is Healer
seventeen // God is Faithful
eighteen // God is Not Silent
nineteen // God is Love
twenty // Weekend Recommendation Pt. 3
twenty one // Songs for the Soul Pt. 3
twenty two // God Fulfills His Promises
twenty three // God is Trustworthy
twenty four // God Always Cares
twenty five // God is Peace
twenty six // God is All-Sufficient
twenty seven // Weekend Recommendation Pt. 4
twenty eight // Songs for the Soul Pt. 4
twenty nine // God is With Us
thirty // God is My Banner
thirty one // 31 Days Later