The Struggle Goes On

This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but here of late, I've been struggling. and by struggling. I mean hard. As I shared back in July, I have started back out on my {never-ending} weight loss journey. Let's just say that the weekend before last was a dreadful disaster. And if we are totally honest, I pretty much have been a dreadful disaster throughout this whole process. No matter how much weight I have lost, I still see myself as I was before or how far I have to go. I'm such a mess. 

Despite how big of a mess I am, God has been constantly trying to remind me that I have been redeemed. that I am His beautiful mess. He is telling me that I have been set free if I will only shake off those heavy chains. I am redeemed. He says He's not done with me yet. Praise God for that. 

by Big Daddy Weave
Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
I’ve got a new name, a new life I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
(Music & Lyrics: Mike Weaver / Benji Cowart)

You'd like to think that one day you will move past your struggles, right? I've always thought so. At so many points in my life, I have come to a point that I {think} I am going to defeat this weight struggle, but shortly after this thought, I fall right back into my old ways.

There are days that I feel so trapped inside this weight struggle that I've come to realize it will probably plague me my entire life. I've come to see my weight struggle a little differently.I know it is my struggle, but I also think that maybe {just maybe} this is the struggle that I have been given to me in order to draw me closer to God. If it weren't for this struggle, I don't know what He would have to use to force me to rely one Him.

The truth is this: I can't do this weight loss thing without Him. Not one bit of it. All weight that I have lost has been all for the glory of God. It is all attributed to Him. I am so thankful that He has blessed my journey to be healthier. This isn't a short process nor will it ever end. This is the journey that God has placed me on. I want to treat my body like the temple it is. Being healthy is just one step on my journey, and I'm so glad that I don't have to face it alone. I am trusting in His Word and believing that He is always with me and will never leave me nor forsake me.

Learning to be the Light,