Sweet Relief

I have {what I'd like to call} a short blurb that I've chosen to describe myself. The first line of it is "missions is my heart." And if you know me at all, that one was a no-brainer. There really aren't words to describe the feeling I have when I'm in Ukraine or East Asia or anywhere else in the world for that matter. I can't explain. I can't help but look at my life every now and then and wonder why I'm one of the few who aches to be in another country.

It sounds crazy, right? You don't think I've thought the same thing? Well, I have. Many times. Just any little thing will set me off into crazy, absurd, emotional breakdowns. The sight of my {still needing to be unpacked} suitcase in my floor will trigger it. The note from my little rabbit, Lily, in the front of my Bible. The sound of I Have Decided to Follow Jesus playing on the piano. More times than not I just lie in bed and wonder about the future. Your guess is as good as mine, but one thing I know for sure is that God has {GREAT} things in store.

You know East Asia isn't my {what you might call} "home" country, but since coming "home" I've realized that there is something I find so refreshing and relieving when I am there. {as always, you had to know I was gonna bring this back around to my usual and probably somewhat annoying topic of marriage/singleness}

When I'm there, there's no pressure, no there-must-be-something-wrong-with-her stares, no pity, no sympathy. Only {sweet relief}. No one and I mean no one asks me when I'm getting married. No one thinks it's strange that I'm in no hurry to find a husband. No one finds it strange that I am unmarried at the ripe old age of 23. No one. Not a single person. And you want to know something even crazier? The majority of my friends there {who might I add are all older, my age, or just a couple years younger} aren't in serious relationships. Most of their parents are actually discouraging them from dating so as to keep them focused on their school work. What a crazy idea? Spend college focused on school? Who thought of that brainless idea? Oh wait, that is actually pretty genius. Maybe someone will actually get the chance to enjoy being a twenty-something. I know I sure am.

Side note: I believe the word "home" to be a relative term. The saying that "home is where your heart is" accurately defines it.

Anyway ... all that to say, I long to live in a world where marriage is not a pressure. that it's okay to be single. that life will go on even if I'm not married by the age of 24.

I still miss East Asia. There still aren't words to express the void in my heart when I'm not there. I just found a bracelet in my purse that my friend Dale gave me on the night before I left. and the memories flood in.

Please forgive me for the scattered post. I probably shouldn't even post this one, but maybe it has some purpose that I'm not aware of.

Learning to be the Light,